"This shit always freaks me out."
Jun. 11th, 2008 12:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
renferretRiot and Contrition. Third time's the charm.
By the Waterfall
The walls of the canyon surrounding the caern reach upwards to thirty feet here, their highest point. About two-thirds of the way up, a small underground spring exits the rock face. The water spills playfully down the cliff face, caressing the rocks and darting away, but always falling to gravity's inexorable pull. The flow, upon entering the shallow, chilled pool of water at the bottom, creates constant ripples in the puddle's surface. A light mist rises up from the ground near the pool, chilling to the bone.
The forest surrounding the caern's border is far less dense than the rest of the nearby forest, with ferns and clumps of aspen taking the place of white pine and birch. Scattered, centuries-old cedar stand majestically over their fallen, decaying, moss-covered comrades. This peculiarity seems to surround only the area just outside the caern.
To the west, cool mist kicked up by the falls mingles with warmer steam from geothermal sources; these mists swirl around the caern to the north. The caern's center lies northwest of here. You can pick out what seems to be a hazardous trail over rock and up the wall, to the side of the waterfall.
Contents:
Kaz(#3820PJc)
Obvious exits:
Steam Vents Center Windy Spot Up the Trail
Riot has arrived.
Darkness has fallen, and if it weren't for the clouds, the half moon would be visible in the sky, between the tree branches. First-Strike has meandered into the Caern itself, and is currently seated at the base of the waterfall, looking into the pool. Her trail isn't too hard to find. There's a blood trail that belongs to her that's hours and hours old, but she returned to it later, and from there, she left plenty of scent markings on her journey here.
Kaz emerges from the Umbra almost on top of Mouse, in a sheen of iridescent light, and starts a little. "Shit, sorry. Didn't expect /you/ out here."
Following Vera's advice, Riot enters the area, dressed in a /very/ nice oversized shirt, a pair of boots, and nothing else. She shivers once, hands coming up to rub her arms, and comes to a standstill when she spies the two Elders.
First-Strike startles back a little, with a yip that is far too high pitched to belong to a full grown wolf. Oh. Hi. She doesn't seem to have noticed pants-less Riot, just yet.
Kaz gets to be startled all over again at Riot's emergence. "You're, uh, missin' some drawers, there."
Riot winces at the loud yip, then blushes a bit from Kaz's remark. Tugging her shirt down, the Gaian mumbles, "The Alpha didn't give me a chance to dress..I..um..was with a kin."
First-Strike turns her attention toward Riot. Her nose twitches several times, and she looks wary, and that wariness does not seem to fade at all at the mention of Vera.
Kaz creaks down into a seat on a rock. "Oh," she says, perfectly accepting. "Cool. Anyone I know?" (She seems a bit confused at Mouse's wariness.)
"Ruvar, Strider Kin," Riot's expression turns almost dopey at the mention of the name. Sobering when she notes Mouse's wariness the Gaian's body begins to contort, until she realizes that shifting /in/ the shirt would destroy. With a sigh, Riot unbottons then slips it off, and quickly shifts down to lupus. This one has spoken to the Alpha. Her communication holds just as much wariness as the Walker's though perceptibly more submissive. This one is here to give Contrition for her actions.
First-Strike's ears splay to either side as Riot speaks. She's hard to read just now, even in this form. Why? she asks, finally. The question does not sound accusatory, but genuinely wondering.
Kaz says, "Oh, yeah, I met him once. Good guy." She looks even more baffled at Riot's offer of Contrition, and Mouse's response doesn't help much. "The hell?" she says, as if asking questions will ever help, in this kind of situation.
Firestarter sits on her haunches, ears flicking in confusion. This one let her fear and rage take over, and was disrespectful and insubordinate. The Alpha has shown this one the error of her ways. Contrition must be given before things becomes..unfixable.
First-Strike's muzzle wrinkles into a grimace not unlike those she gives in homid, but it smooths soon enough. She takes a few steps toward Firestarter before sitting as well, with a decent amount of space between them. What this one said about herself also applies to Firebringer, she starts, slowly, almost a little meekly. An apology that is demanded or ordered does not mean anything, and Contrition is the same way. Does Firebringer mean she wants to apologize, or to do the rite? And does she want to do this because Culls-the-Herd told her to do it, or because she feels herself it should be done?
Kaz mouths, "Shown the error of her ways?" and shakes her head abruptly. Rummaging in her pocket, she fails to find a Coke, looks irritated, ad finds some string instead, which she starts winding around her finger.
Firestarter cocks her head to the side, thinking about this. Her eventual answer is hesitant. This one will do what is needed to fix the problem. A rite or a simple apology, it is up to the Elder to decide. The Alpha asked this one to find balance, and suggested Contrition to be a good first step. This one agrees with the Alpha.
First-Strike shifts her weight a little. Her ears flick back, and for a time, she's quiet, thinking. Does Firebringer /know/ the Rite of Contrition?
Kaz mutters, "I fuckin' hate this no Weaver shit in the Caern thing," and keeps winding and unwinding.
No. The Gaian wolf looks uneasy by this admission, especially when giving out the following communication. This one has been struggling with..other things.
First-Strike's ears twist toward Kaz for a moment, and there's a flicker of amusement that fades quickly as she turns her attention back to Firestarter. She licks her muzzle, and again, there's a period of silence as she considers this. Words mean things, she starts, slowly. Actions mean more. If Firebringer would like, this one can walk her through the motions of what Contrition requires. It would not be the actual rite, and the actual rite requires more preparation. It would not teach her the rite. But she could see if it is a thing she would like to do, and feels she must do.
Kaz slides over so she's on the ground, leaning against a rock. "I could give you a tip're two, too. If Mouse's... language of the Rite don't work for you."
Firestarter looks from Mouse to Kaz, seeming uncertain by the offer. It takes her a few moments, but she finally accedes. Taking a small step forward, she sits down again, and waits for the Glass Walker to begin.
First-Strike stands, and her motions are slow and mostly smooth, with the odd hitch here and there where her injuries get in the way. Like all rites, she explains, Contrition calls on the spirits. Because of this it is always public, even if only you and the person you are giving it to are present, the spirits see. It is apology, but also more than apology. It is a way of setting things right between two Garou, or a Garou and a spirit. This does not make them like each other. It does not fix the wrong. But it does help things settle. Back when the world was very, very young, the Theurges learned this rite and brought it to the rest of the Garou, so that they could appease the spirits and each other. In some stories that this one has heard, it is the first rite we ever learned, given to us when the Crescent Moons learned to speak to those on the other side of the Gauntlet.
Kaz mutters, "Makes sense. Because with Rage? We're /guaranteed/ to need to know how to apologize, boy howdy."
Firestarter tracks Mouse's movements with her eyes, ears perked forward, expression becoming focused, intent on the lesson. It /would/ be the first rite Garou must learn from the spirits. It's unclear whether her communication is born from bitterness or a simple joke not translating well through wolf form.
Yes, First-Strike says to Firestarter. We are very different, Garou and spirit, except that we are actually very close to the same in many, many ways. As Garou you are wolf and human, but you are also spirit yourself. That is how we can walk between worlds, and how we can use gifts and rites. That is how, when you sit here in the Caern, you can feel it, deep inside past your skin and bones. Long, long ago, the Garou forgot this lesson. They did not know how to talk to the spirits, they did not understand them, and so they offended them very badly. Long ago there were no Theurges, and so the first Theurge was the one who brought this gift back to our people, and with it the auspice. We are strange, and confusing, and often /annoying/, but this is the duty we were given, and we feel it inside like you feel the need to fight and protect inside of you.
It's the last part that the Gaian latches on to, and from that, everything else Mouse has told her falls into place. I understand, First-Strike-rhya, I have spoken with Starcaller about this. We have agreed that Theurges are like air, between the ground and the sky, connected to both but not part of either.
First-Strike's ears tilt forward, and it's clear that she likes this metaphor. We keep the balance, she explains. Like the half moons, only the balance we keep is not law, and not between Garou and Garou, but between the Garou and the spirits, both those outside, and those inside. We speak for them. We are their ambassadors, and we must never /ever/ betray that. The Theurge that betrays that is no Theurge at all. Further, it is our duty to make sure that the other Garou do not forget this connection, to keep the link between Garou and Gaia strong and healthy. We are healers, of spirits and mind /and/ body, and it is for this that I would ask to perform Contrition to you, Firebringer, sometimes Firestarter, because in my anger and pain I forgot /that/ duty, and that duty is one that I have learned very harshly must not be forgotten.
Kaz listens to this and seems to be filing it away, somewhere. Possibly for re-telling, or possibly for her own use. Who knows. Either way, it means she's abnormally silent, for the big metis.
Firestarter stands up and begins pacing, somewhat agitated by the difficulty of being able to communicate her own thoughts on this. I am Ahroun. Gaia made our bodies strong and our claws sharper than most. But in being so, our spirits and minds are more fragile. For one thing, we are more quick to anger. I did not understand the deep hurt my words caused that night, I was blinded by my own pain. And then everything shattered. It took so much to put it back together, and even then it was not right. There was too much anger, born out of fear this time instead of pain. The Gaian settles back down on her haunches, ears splayed back and looking contrite. Ahrouns are supposed to sacrifice themselves to protect Garou. I was trying to protect myself when you came to give Contrition, and sacrificed both mind and spirit when I should've been trying to protect you. I am truly sorry. I am still learning.
First-Strike lifts her muzzle. Her motions are slow and careful, and she halts them if the Gaian pulls away, but if she doesn't, then the Theurge touches her nose lightly to Firestarter's muzzle. This one cannot take away what she gave you, Firebringer. But she can try to help you understand it, and she can try to help you learn from it. Contrition is not an easy thing, but it is also a form of healing. She steps back, and back, sliding slowly and smoothly into homid, where she removes the small green stone with the two feathers, and sets it to one side. Then she returns to lupus. If you are willing to listen, this one will begin.
Firestarter tenses when Mouse comes closer, but doesn't move away, and is careful to avoid the Glass Walker's gaze. Once Mouse steps back, the Gaian relaxes a touch. Contrition for an Ahroun is giving yourself to death, and being allowed to live by the grace of that Garou's forgiveness, so no, it is not easy. This one is willing to listen.
Kaz tilts her head a bit at this interpretation of Contrition, interested.
First-Strike licks her muzzle. For a moment she stands still, ears twitching to either side, as if she were listening to something other than the two Garou with her. Her eyes close as well. Then she tips her muzzle back and howls, a long, low sound that would be pitiful even if it weren't for the Jackal Voice mangling it. It sounds pathetic and utterly mournful. Firebringer I have /wronged/ you, I have done a thing that should never have been done, out of anger and pain. I have /abused/ my rank and my auspice, I have hurt you, my sister, and Ringtone, my brother, and I have hurt the memory of those I hold closest to my heart. Let all of Gaia bear witness! What I did was wrong and brought harm to you. She prostrates herself on the ground, with her ears flattened, her tail tucked, and her eyes on her own paws. I am sorry. I make myself low and small. I feed the ground beneath us with my sorrow. And without hesitation, the Theurge's teeth rip into her own forelegs, opening up a gash from elbow to paw on both of them, letting the blood soak her fur and the dirt beneath them. I /crawl/--and crawl she does, on her belly, without raising her head or her eyes, right up to Firebringer's feet--I bring you Contrition. I put my life in your jaws. --And, so saying, she flips onto her back, belly exposed, head tipped back so that her throat is bared.
Firestarter's ears splay back at the howl, and she takes a step away, somewhat taken aback by the intense emotion spilling out of the Theurge. Shooting Kaz a nervous look, the Gaian lowers her head to sniff at First-Strike's bleeding foreleg, then moves her head to take the Glass Walker's throat in her jaw, the gesture symbolic, and no blood is drawn. Quickly, she releases the Theurge's throat and steps back.
Kaz murmurs, a little quietly, "This shit always freaks me out. It ain't just you."
First-Strike is trembling, and Firebringer can feel it as she takes the Walker's throat, can feel the life blood throbbing through the vein in her neck. She remains on her back for a little longer after the Gaian draws back, before slowly flopping back onto her stomach. The relief in her posture is very clear. Tradition says this one should give you a small gift that is meaningful. This was...hard. This one does not know you well, and she did not know what gift would even be appropriate. It took her a long time to think of it. She turns, moving back toward the small green stone on a string, and picking it up in her teeth.
This one does not want a gift. Whether Mouse-rhya realized it or not, she's responsible for bringing back the Ahroun rage and courage this one thought was lost. That is gift enough. The Gaian she-wolf can't help but glance curiously at the stone though, then over to Kaz with uncertainty again.
Kaz says, quietly, regarding the stone with fixed curiousity, "Don' leap to no conclusions, kid." (It's not said condescendingly. At all.)
First-Strike considers this for a moment. She will tell Firebringer what she has brought. She thinks it is something that may help, but if Firebringer feels what has happened is enough, then this one thinks that will be okay. She inhales deeply. This is the stone that she has used to find things. She did not always use this stone, but it was given to her by the last member of her former pack, her Alpha. He used this stone to find her when she was lost in the Wyrm's den. It was this stone that led him and his war pack to her. It was this stone that saved her life. She wears another stone around her neck--she indicates the ornament dangling there--it is the remains of what Speaks-Up made her carry as punishment. It is a symbol of remembering to her, what she lost, what she has. The memories that have hurt Firebringer were this one's. It would not be appropriate to give her part of this one's stone, but to give her another stone that was attached to these things, that would be meaningful. It is a stone for finding things, Firebringer. It has found many things for her.
Firestarter creeps forward and sniffs the stone, still curious, then steps back, thoughtful. This one understands the value behind the stone, and is grateful for the gift. But this one believes it was not the stone that gave the Ahroun her courage back, but Mouse-rhya's show of quiet and stubborn vulnerability yesterday. What has happened is enough.
Kaz's expression says, loud as day, 'Mouse? Stubborn? You must be thinking of someone else!' But all she does is lean backward a bit, the sarcasm there melting into something a little softer, after a moment.
First-Strike studies Firestarter carefully. This thing means a lot to me, she says, eventually. If Firebringer will not take it, that is also a gift to this one. But whether she takes it or not, this one will try to help her understand what she put in her head.
Firestarter shoots Kaz a lupine equivalent of a smirk before turning back to Mouse. My behaviour yesterday proved that I don't deserve such a gift. I will not take it. I tried to understand. I tried to show Mouse-rhya what I understood, but communication was difficult when were both angry and afraid. I will go back and prepare for my own Contrition to Mouse-rhya, and then will accept Mouse-rhya's help.
First-Strike sets the stone down in front of her and licks her muzzle again. Firebringer knows how to talk to this one. When she would like to learn, this one will come here and teach, any time that her duties do not have her busy elsewhere.
Kaz says, "I could... argue with this whole deserving thing, but I won't, right now. Because y'all just did a really... gorgeous thing, there." She exhales a breath, and adds, "I'll catch you around, Riot, huh?"
Firestarter licks her muzzle. I will be back after my mission tomorrow. Thank you First-Strike-rhya. Thank you Kaz-rhya. Gaia watch you both. With that, the Ahroun turn around and sprints off.
First-Strike watches Firestarter go, looking quiet and pensive.
Kaz watches after her, says, "Huh," once she's gone, and levers herself to her feet. "I was gonna go back t'th' city. See you later?"
First-Strike considers for a moment, then straightens. She'll walk with you. She should get back before the city blows up, she's declared ~legally~ dead, and Darkness tries to take over the tribe.
Kaz looks alarmed. "Fate worse than death, that last. Let's go prevent it, huh?" And she limps up the trail.
By the Waterfall
The walls of the canyon surrounding the caern reach upwards to thirty feet here, their highest point. About two-thirds of the way up, a small underground spring exits the rock face. The water spills playfully down the cliff face, caressing the rocks and darting away, but always falling to gravity's inexorable pull. The flow, upon entering the shallow, chilled pool of water at the bottom, creates constant ripples in the puddle's surface. A light mist rises up from the ground near the pool, chilling to the bone.
The forest surrounding the caern's border is far less dense than the rest of the nearby forest, with ferns and clumps of aspen taking the place of white pine and birch. Scattered, centuries-old cedar stand majestically over their fallen, decaying, moss-covered comrades. This peculiarity seems to surround only the area just outside the caern.
To the west, cool mist kicked up by the falls mingles with warmer steam from geothermal sources; these mists swirl around the caern to the north. The caern's center lies northwest of here. You can pick out what seems to be a hazardous trail over rock and up the wall, to the side of the waterfall.
Contents:
Kaz(#3820PJc)
Obvious exits:
Steam Vents Center Windy Spot Up the Trail
Riot has arrived.
Darkness has fallen, and if it weren't for the clouds, the half moon would be visible in the sky, between the tree branches. First-Strike has meandered into the Caern itself, and is currently seated at the base of the waterfall, looking into the pool. Her trail isn't too hard to find. There's a blood trail that belongs to her that's hours and hours old, but she returned to it later, and from there, she left plenty of scent markings on her journey here.
Kaz emerges from the Umbra almost on top of Mouse, in a sheen of iridescent light, and starts a little. "Shit, sorry. Didn't expect /you/ out here."
Following Vera's advice, Riot enters the area, dressed in a /very/ nice oversized shirt, a pair of boots, and nothing else. She shivers once, hands coming up to rub her arms, and comes to a standstill when she spies the two Elders.
First-Strike startles back a little, with a yip that is far too high pitched to belong to a full grown wolf. Oh. Hi. She doesn't seem to have noticed pants-less Riot, just yet.
Kaz gets to be startled all over again at Riot's emergence. "You're, uh, missin' some drawers, there."
Riot winces at the loud yip, then blushes a bit from Kaz's remark. Tugging her shirt down, the Gaian mumbles, "The Alpha didn't give me a chance to dress..I..um..was with a kin."
First-Strike turns her attention toward Riot. Her nose twitches several times, and she looks wary, and that wariness does not seem to fade at all at the mention of Vera.
Kaz creaks down into a seat on a rock. "Oh," she says, perfectly accepting. "Cool. Anyone I know?" (She seems a bit confused at Mouse's wariness.)
"Ruvar, Strider Kin," Riot's expression turns almost dopey at the mention of the name. Sobering when she notes Mouse's wariness the Gaian's body begins to contort, until she realizes that shifting /in/ the shirt would destroy. With a sigh, Riot unbottons then slips it off, and quickly shifts down to lupus. This one has spoken to the Alpha. Her communication holds just as much wariness as the Walker's though perceptibly more submissive. This one is here to give Contrition for her actions.
First-Strike's ears splay to either side as Riot speaks. She's hard to read just now, even in this form. Why? she asks, finally. The question does not sound accusatory, but genuinely wondering.
Kaz says, "Oh, yeah, I met him once. Good guy." She looks even more baffled at Riot's offer of Contrition, and Mouse's response doesn't help much. "The hell?" she says, as if asking questions will ever help, in this kind of situation.
Firestarter sits on her haunches, ears flicking in confusion. This one let her fear and rage take over, and was disrespectful and insubordinate. The Alpha has shown this one the error of her ways. Contrition must be given before things becomes..unfixable.
First-Strike's muzzle wrinkles into a grimace not unlike those she gives in homid, but it smooths soon enough. She takes a few steps toward Firestarter before sitting as well, with a decent amount of space between them. What this one said about herself also applies to Firebringer, she starts, slowly, almost a little meekly. An apology that is demanded or ordered does not mean anything, and Contrition is the same way. Does Firebringer mean she wants to apologize, or to do the rite? And does she want to do this because Culls-the-Herd told her to do it, or because she feels herself it should be done?
Kaz mouths, "Shown the error of her ways?" and shakes her head abruptly. Rummaging in her pocket, she fails to find a Coke, looks irritated, ad finds some string instead, which she starts winding around her finger.
Firestarter cocks her head to the side, thinking about this. Her eventual answer is hesitant. This one will do what is needed to fix the problem. A rite or a simple apology, it is up to the Elder to decide. The Alpha asked this one to find balance, and suggested Contrition to be a good first step. This one agrees with the Alpha.
First-Strike shifts her weight a little. Her ears flick back, and for a time, she's quiet, thinking. Does Firebringer /know/ the Rite of Contrition?
Kaz mutters, "I fuckin' hate this no Weaver shit in the Caern thing," and keeps winding and unwinding.
No. The Gaian wolf looks uneasy by this admission, especially when giving out the following communication. This one has been struggling with..other things.
First-Strike's ears twist toward Kaz for a moment, and there's a flicker of amusement that fades quickly as she turns her attention back to Firestarter. She licks her muzzle, and again, there's a period of silence as she considers this. Words mean things, she starts, slowly. Actions mean more. If Firebringer would like, this one can walk her through the motions of what Contrition requires. It would not be the actual rite, and the actual rite requires more preparation. It would not teach her the rite. But she could see if it is a thing she would like to do, and feels she must do.
Kaz slides over so she's on the ground, leaning against a rock. "I could give you a tip're two, too. If Mouse's... language of the Rite don't work for you."
Firestarter looks from Mouse to Kaz, seeming uncertain by the offer. It takes her a few moments, but she finally accedes. Taking a small step forward, she sits down again, and waits for the Glass Walker to begin.
First-Strike stands, and her motions are slow and mostly smooth, with the odd hitch here and there where her injuries get in the way. Like all rites, she explains, Contrition calls on the spirits. Because of this it is always public, even if only you and the person you are giving it to are present, the spirits see. It is apology, but also more than apology. It is a way of setting things right between two Garou, or a Garou and a spirit. This does not make them like each other. It does not fix the wrong. But it does help things settle. Back when the world was very, very young, the Theurges learned this rite and brought it to the rest of the Garou, so that they could appease the spirits and each other. In some stories that this one has heard, it is the first rite we ever learned, given to us when the Crescent Moons learned to speak to those on the other side of the Gauntlet.
Kaz mutters, "Makes sense. Because with Rage? We're /guaranteed/ to need to know how to apologize, boy howdy."
Firestarter tracks Mouse's movements with her eyes, ears perked forward, expression becoming focused, intent on the lesson. It /would/ be the first rite Garou must learn from the spirits. It's unclear whether her communication is born from bitterness or a simple joke not translating well through wolf form.
Yes, First-Strike says to Firestarter. We are very different, Garou and spirit, except that we are actually very close to the same in many, many ways. As Garou you are wolf and human, but you are also spirit yourself. That is how we can walk between worlds, and how we can use gifts and rites. That is how, when you sit here in the Caern, you can feel it, deep inside past your skin and bones. Long, long ago, the Garou forgot this lesson. They did not know how to talk to the spirits, they did not understand them, and so they offended them very badly. Long ago there were no Theurges, and so the first Theurge was the one who brought this gift back to our people, and with it the auspice. We are strange, and confusing, and often /annoying/, but this is the duty we were given, and we feel it inside like you feel the need to fight and protect inside of you.
It's the last part that the Gaian latches on to, and from that, everything else Mouse has told her falls into place. I understand, First-Strike-rhya, I have spoken with Starcaller about this. We have agreed that Theurges are like air, between the ground and the sky, connected to both but not part of either.
First-Strike's ears tilt forward, and it's clear that she likes this metaphor. We keep the balance, she explains. Like the half moons, only the balance we keep is not law, and not between Garou and Garou, but between the Garou and the spirits, both those outside, and those inside. We speak for them. We are their ambassadors, and we must never /ever/ betray that. The Theurge that betrays that is no Theurge at all. Further, it is our duty to make sure that the other Garou do not forget this connection, to keep the link between Garou and Gaia strong and healthy. We are healers, of spirits and mind /and/ body, and it is for this that I would ask to perform Contrition to you, Firebringer, sometimes Firestarter, because in my anger and pain I forgot /that/ duty, and that duty is one that I have learned very harshly must not be forgotten.
Kaz listens to this and seems to be filing it away, somewhere. Possibly for re-telling, or possibly for her own use. Who knows. Either way, it means she's abnormally silent, for the big metis.
Firestarter stands up and begins pacing, somewhat agitated by the difficulty of being able to communicate her own thoughts on this. I am Ahroun. Gaia made our bodies strong and our claws sharper than most. But in being so, our spirits and minds are more fragile. For one thing, we are more quick to anger. I did not understand the deep hurt my words caused that night, I was blinded by my own pain. And then everything shattered. It took so much to put it back together, and even then it was not right. There was too much anger, born out of fear this time instead of pain. The Gaian settles back down on her haunches, ears splayed back and looking contrite. Ahrouns are supposed to sacrifice themselves to protect Garou. I was trying to protect myself when you came to give Contrition, and sacrificed both mind and spirit when I should've been trying to protect you. I am truly sorry. I am still learning.
First-Strike lifts her muzzle. Her motions are slow and careful, and she halts them if the Gaian pulls away, but if she doesn't, then the Theurge touches her nose lightly to Firestarter's muzzle. This one cannot take away what she gave you, Firebringer. But she can try to help you understand it, and she can try to help you learn from it. Contrition is not an easy thing, but it is also a form of healing. She steps back, and back, sliding slowly and smoothly into homid, where she removes the small green stone with the two feathers, and sets it to one side. Then she returns to lupus. If you are willing to listen, this one will begin.
Firestarter tenses when Mouse comes closer, but doesn't move away, and is careful to avoid the Glass Walker's gaze. Once Mouse steps back, the Gaian relaxes a touch. Contrition for an Ahroun is giving yourself to death, and being allowed to live by the grace of that Garou's forgiveness, so no, it is not easy. This one is willing to listen.
Kaz tilts her head a bit at this interpretation of Contrition, interested.
First-Strike licks her muzzle. For a moment she stands still, ears twitching to either side, as if she were listening to something other than the two Garou with her. Her eyes close as well. Then she tips her muzzle back and howls, a long, low sound that would be pitiful even if it weren't for the Jackal Voice mangling it. It sounds pathetic and utterly mournful. Firebringer I have /wronged/ you, I have done a thing that should never have been done, out of anger and pain. I have /abused/ my rank and my auspice, I have hurt you, my sister, and Ringtone, my brother, and I have hurt the memory of those I hold closest to my heart. Let all of Gaia bear witness! What I did was wrong and brought harm to you. She prostrates herself on the ground, with her ears flattened, her tail tucked, and her eyes on her own paws. I am sorry. I make myself low and small. I feed the ground beneath us with my sorrow. And without hesitation, the Theurge's teeth rip into her own forelegs, opening up a gash from elbow to paw on both of them, letting the blood soak her fur and the dirt beneath them. I /crawl/--and crawl she does, on her belly, without raising her head or her eyes, right up to Firebringer's feet--I bring you Contrition. I put my life in your jaws. --And, so saying, she flips onto her back, belly exposed, head tipped back so that her throat is bared.
Firestarter's ears splay back at the howl, and she takes a step away, somewhat taken aback by the intense emotion spilling out of the Theurge. Shooting Kaz a nervous look, the Gaian lowers her head to sniff at First-Strike's bleeding foreleg, then moves her head to take the Glass Walker's throat in her jaw, the gesture symbolic, and no blood is drawn. Quickly, she releases the Theurge's throat and steps back.
Kaz murmurs, a little quietly, "This shit always freaks me out. It ain't just you."
First-Strike is trembling, and Firebringer can feel it as she takes the Walker's throat, can feel the life blood throbbing through the vein in her neck. She remains on her back for a little longer after the Gaian draws back, before slowly flopping back onto her stomach. The relief in her posture is very clear. Tradition says this one should give you a small gift that is meaningful. This was...hard. This one does not know you well, and she did not know what gift would even be appropriate. It took her a long time to think of it. She turns, moving back toward the small green stone on a string, and picking it up in her teeth.
This one does not want a gift. Whether Mouse-rhya realized it or not, she's responsible for bringing back the Ahroun rage and courage this one thought was lost. That is gift enough. The Gaian she-wolf can't help but glance curiously at the stone though, then over to Kaz with uncertainty again.
Kaz says, quietly, regarding the stone with fixed curiousity, "Don' leap to no conclusions, kid." (It's not said condescendingly. At all.)
First-Strike considers this for a moment. She will tell Firebringer what she has brought. She thinks it is something that may help, but if Firebringer feels what has happened is enough, then this one thinks that will be okay. She inhales deeply. This is the stone that she has used to find things. She did not always use this stone, but it was given to her by the last member of her former pack, her Alpha. He used this stone to find her when she was lost in the Wyrm's den. It was this stone that led him and his war pack to her. It was this stone that saved her life. She wears another stone around her neck--she indicates the ornament dangling there--it is the remains of what Speaks-Up made her carry as punishment. It is a symbol of remembering to her, what she lost, what she has. The memories that have hurt Firebringer were this one's. It would not be appropriate to give her part of this one's stone, but to give her another stone that was attached to these things, that would be meaningful. It is a stone for finding things, Firebringer. It has found many things for her.
Firestarter creeps forward and sniffs the stone, still curious, then steps back, thoughtful. This one understands the value behind the stone, and is grateful for the gift. But this one believes it was not the stone that gave the Ahroun her courage back, but Mouse-rhya's show of quiet and stubborn vulnerability yesterday. What has happened is enough.
Kaz's expression says, loud as day, 'Mouse? Stubborn? You must be thinking of someone else!' But all she does is lean backward a bit, the sarcasm there melting into something a little softer, after a moment.
First-Strike studies Firestarter carefully. This thing means a lot to me, she says, eventually. If Firebringer will not take it, that is also a gift to this one. But whether she takes it or not, this one will try to help her understand what she put in her head.
Firestarter shoots Kaz a lupine equivalent of a smirk before turning back to Mouse. My behaviour yesterday proved that I don't deserve such a gift. I will not take it. I tried to understand. I tried to show Mouse-rhya what I understood, but communication was difficult when were both angry and afraid. I will go back and prepare for my own Contrition to Mouse-rhya, and then will accept Mouse-rhya's help.
First-Strike sets the stone down in front of her and licks her muzzle again. Firebringer knows how to talk to this one. When she would like to learn, this one will come here and teach, any time that her duties do not have her busy elsewhere.
Kaz says, "I could... argue with this whole deserving thing, but I won't, right now. Because y'all just did a really... gorgeous thing, there." She exhales a breath, and adds, "I'll catch you around, Riot, huh?"
Firestarter licks her muzzle. I will be back after my mission tomorrow. Thank you First-Strike-rhya. Thank you Kaz-rhya. Gaia watch you both. With that, the Ahroun turn around and sprints off.
First-Strike watches Firestarter go, looking quiet and pensive.
Kaz watches after her, says, "Huh," once she's gone, and levers herself to her feet. "I was gonna go back t'th' city. See you later?"
First-Strike considers for a moment, then straightens. She'll walk with you. She should get back before the city blows up, she's declared ~legally~ dead, and Darkness tries to take over the tribe.
Kaz looks alarmed. "Fate worse than death, that last. Let's go prevent it, huh?" And she limps up the trail.
